With internships behind us, our dating relationship had it’s official commencement in May of 2010. Now, neither of us had been in a prior relationship, nor even been on a real date. This was all-new territory. But, you know what? It came naturally!
The First Date
It was graduation day. The internship was over! We sat together in a blue Jeep liberty, took one another’s hands, and asked the Lord to lead us and bless whatever lie ahead. We said amen. Phil looked at Brandi – and asked if it would be okay if he just kept holding her hand. She smiled and said “yes”. And so, our hands remained intertwined throughout the remainder of the day.
We walked through the streets of downtown together, eating ice cream, teasing one another, and most of all talking – talking about hopes, dreams, and every idea or fancy that popped into our heads. Sometimes, we didn’t talk at all, taking the time to simply bask in the joy of finally being together. As dinnertime approached, we left downtown and made our way to Carrabbas. Neither of us can remember what we ate that night. Heck, I’m not sure we’d remember if we didn’t eat at all. What we do remember is our hands never separating, and our eyes remaining fixed on one another.
With dinner behind us, we decided to rent a movie and drive out to the Sawyer farm. Stopping at Walmart to use the Redbox, we met an acquaintance from Church (that acquaintance was Gabriel Leonhard, who would later become a good friend and a business partner). He asked what we were doing, and we informed him that we were out on our first date – in response to which he cast us a sideways glance and asked, “at Walmart??” I’m not sure he ever believed our assertion that we did not in fact have our first date at Walmart. Oh well.
The Days that Followed
One date turned into many. Throughout our dating relationship, we held ourselves to a high standard (a standard to which we asked to be kept accountable by those we trusted in our lives). We knew that, Lord willing, if marriage is what lay ahead, we wanted our marriage to be built on a solid foundation. A foundation of deep and abiding friendship, not purely physical attraction – of sacrificial love, rather than self-serving lust or emotional misuse. Many relationships in the present age are destined to fail before they begin, because they are formed on the premise of individuality and self-satisfaction. While the world may value those ideals, they are fundamentally unable to form the basis of a healthy relationship that will be immune to the erosion of time. In fact, they cannot even coexist with such a relationship.
Now, lest it sound as if we think of ourselves more highly than we ought, we’d like to make it clear: we were not then nor will we ever be anything close to perfect. We discovered that pretty quickly as we got to know one another. It’s been confirmed on multiple occasions since that time 🙂 In fact, we become more deeply acquainted with this fact with each passing year. Instead of letting our imperfections (of which there are aplenty) drive use apart, though, we fight hard against that propensity. It takes hard work sometimes, but the payoff is definitely worth it.
As our relationship grew, we had multiple opportunities to learn to work through things together. These small trials came both in the form of internal challenges and external circumstances. Though they were trivial compared to the things we would ultimately face, they laid important groundwork. How to communicate. How to put one another first. How to ask for forgiveness. And most importantly, how to persevere.
If all that sounds heavy, rest assured, our courtship was a joyful time 🙂 Yet, even in the midst of it, we can see looking back that God was already training and preparing us for what was yet to come.
The Engagement
We entered into our dating relationship with a view towards marriage. Before we started dating, we had been fast friends for 8 months – 5 months of which were spent following a declared mutual interest. Therefore, it didn’t take long for our interest in one another to evolve into a more confident commitment. In October, following 6 months of dating, we took the next step.
We drove down to the Outer Banks together to enjoy a family vacation with the Watts crew. It was a valuable opportunity for us to get to spend some more extended time with Brandi’s family as a couple. Unbeknownst to Brandi, though, Phil had devised a bigger scheme. The ring had been acquired, permission granted, and plan laid.
The week at the beach was drawing towards a close when Phil asked Brandi to wake up early the next morning to go for an excursion. We drove south until we arrived at the Ocracoke ferry, which we then boarded – arriving at the island around 9 AM. The day was picture-perfect: clear blue skies, breezy, and a perfect 70 degrees. The charm of the island was remarkable. We rented bicycles and spent the day traversing the small town. We enjoyed an outdoor lunch, toured the lighthouse, and explored a variety of eclectic shops.
As the day began to ebb, we drove the jeep down onto the beach. There was not a soul in sight as the sun began sinking down over the water. We waded through the tidal pools, hand in hand. To tell you what happened next, we’d like to each share the experience from our perspective.
Phil Asks
The beach was stunning. It was quiet, too – not a person was in sight, so only the sounds of the waves, the breeze, and the birds were present to serenade us. We stood together, ankle deep in the water, gazing at the sun as it sank low over the waves. My heart was beating at a harrowing speed as I attempted to compile my turbulent emotions and assemble my wits (and courage) for the moment I’d been waiting for. As I turned to face Brandi, it felt so surreal – almost as if I was watching myself on a screen. My words were scattered, my thoughts flying hither and yon. Somehow, though I managed to communicate – to tell Brandi just how much she meant to me, and how happy I would be to have her with me always.
I took to one knee in the middle of the tidal pool, and reached into my jacket pocket with a shaking hand. I’ll never forget the way Brandi looked at me in that moment – a look of unbridled joy. I asked, and she said yes. We held onto each other. Brandi laughed, I cried. Then, we walked – hand in hand, basking in the glow – the glow of a promise made, a promise we would keep.
Brandi Says Yes
I can’t remember all of Phil’s words – the accident drove some of those things away. I still remember vividly, though, how he made me feel in that moment as he told me how he felt about me. When I saw Phil starting to kneel down and reach into his pocket, I was filled with a mixture of joy and unbelief. I had dreamed about this moment, as every girls does, but now it was really happening! He looked at me different than ever before as he asked me to be his wife. I was overjoyed! Between the laughter, I managed to say “yes”, and he slipped the dainty and beautiful princess cut diamond on my finger. It’s a memory I will cherish forever. I’ve never regretted my answer for a moment, and yet with each passing year, I grow even more thankful for my “yes”.
Weddings Plans
We waited until the new year to start wedding planning in earnest. It was a cold January day, and a half-frozen mist hung in the air. The weather was perfect – perfect for lounging in Tom and Donna Wolford’s outdoor Jacuzzi, which is exactly what we did (not knowing at the time that we would actually spend the first year of our marriage living in their basement apartment). Phil’s business ventures had continued to solidify, and the time had come to set the date. So, we began laying plans for the future.
We landed on Saturday, May 7th as our first choice for the wedding date. It wasn’t until after the date had been settled that a forgotten memory resurfaced. Not long after we had begun dating in earnest, we had the opportunity to spend time with Scott & Kathryn Cuneen (an amazing, God-fearing couple from our church). During the course of the evening, Kathryn had a word for us. She heard “Mayflower”. In praying about it, she had the distinct impression that there was going to be a May wedding. You may think that a word like that would not be easily forgotten – but somehow, it escaped our memory until we announced our wedding date. When it came swelling back up into our recollection, we felt the smile of the Lord over our plans, along with a confidence that it was He who was ordering our steps.
Originally, our wedding wasn’t going to be a large affair – finances were not plentiful, so a smallish, family-centric wedding is what took shape in our initial plans. Little did we know, though, just how much our community was going to rally around to bless us! With the help of three wonderful volunteer wedding-planners (thank you Christi, Marisa, and Ronnette!), a world-class photographer (thank you, Beverly!), professional musicians (thank you Gabriel and Bekah!), and an amazing florist (thank you, Jackie!) – all of whom donated or discounted their services – our wedding grew into an unforgettable occasion. Many in our church volunteered to help with food, decor, videography (thank you, John!), worship (thank you Zach and Beth!) and more. There are many others we could call out by name, but suffice to say, our community blessed us with an incredible outpouring of love. It completely blew us away!
As many wonderful people were helping with our wedding, another very important couple was sowing into us, too. Jay & Evie Hostetter. We are so thankful for the wisdom they imparted and the encouragement they bestowed on us as they led us through our marriage counseling. It was such a memorable experience – not only the material, but the relationship we got to build with the Hostetters. So, thank you Jay and Evie!
The Wedding
If we told you we got a good night’s sleep on May 6th – we’d be lying. The excitement was beyond description. This moment, a moment for which we’d been planning and preparing (in many ways, for our entire lives, but certainly for the last year) was finally at hand. It was like a waking dream! As with our engagement, this part of our adventure necessitates that we each share from our respective viewpoints.
Phil
I think it was around 5:30 AM that I gave up on sleep. Sleep seemed trivial and unimportant compared with the step I was about to take. Elation filled my entire being. The morning was a blur – I think I choked down a bit of breakfast, showered, and wandered around more or less aimlessly. I called Brandi, desperate to hear her voice, and share a last moment of expectancy with her. Finally, in the late morning, it was time to head to the church. As I watched the flurry of activity, reality began to set in – I was getting married.
My groomsmen began to arrive, and before long, it was time to get ourselves dressed and ready. After a photoshoot, we returned to the church to find it filling up with family and friends. What all happened next, I couldn’t tell you, but suddenly I found myself standing at the end of the isle, waiting, anticipating.
The door opened. In walked the most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on. I couldn’t breathe. My hands went numb. Emotion filled my entire being. As Brandi walked slowly up the isle, I struggled to grasp that this was reality – that I really was about to marry this woman that I could never possibly deserve. Then, we were standing face to face. Her smile lit up my soul.
I’ve been told it was a long ceremony – it was more or less a blur for me. I remember worshiping together. I remember washing Brandi’s feet. I remember communion – mostly because I gave Brandi such a humongous hunk of bread that she nearly choked. I remember our vows. And, mostly, I remember our kiss. It was our first kiss – saved for this moment. It felt so good, so right, so pure. We walked back down the isle together as Mr. and Mrs. Philip Sawyer.
Brandi
As I said goodnight to Phil following our rehearsal, it hit me…this would be the last time I would say goodbye to Phil as an unmarried lady. Excitement welled up within me!
Following what little fragments of sleep I managed to catch, I awoke early to address the first order of the day: calm down. Haha, no, the first of the day was my hair! And, it was no small fiasco. For some reason or other, the hair salon requested at the last minute that I straighten my own hair before arriving for my appointment. Time was too pressing to argue, so I had to power through. Not the best start to the day, but it all worked out!
When I arrived at the church, I was ushered into a private room. My “ladies in waiting” were present, and the donning of the gown began! Dressed and ready, I began seeing family members. My parents came in, and we shared a special moment. Then, a letter arrived. Phil had written a letter for me the night before, to be read right before the ceremony! I won’t share what it said, of course, but it melted my heart. That letter is safely treasured in a box upstairs 🙂
Before I knew it, the moment had come. Disbelief and excitement flurried like butterflies in my stomach as my dad and I stood before the doors. They opened. I beheld the man I was about to marry. Somehow my legs got me up to the front, and I took his hands. Little did I know, as we spoke our vows, just where our lives would take us.
We worshiped, received prayers of blessing from our parents, and Phil tried to kill me with a giant crust of bread. Perhaps the most meaningful moment to me, though, came when Phil washed my feet. He sat me down, took off my shoes, and bathed my feet in a silver basin. In that moment, I felt confident about what I already knew – Phil was a man who would lay down his life for me.
Finally, I heard the words – “you may now kiss the bride.” Once again, a mixture of joy and unbelief hit me. I had waited this moment, and now it was here! We leaned in, and our lips met – all I can say is wow – it was worth the wait!
Married
As the reception came to an end, we exited down a hallway, and entered a private dressing room together. This isn’t supposed to sound steamy – but it was meaningful. Meaningful to enter room together. To change clothes together. All boundaries of modesty and constraint forever lifted. Walking out of the building, bubbles flying, voices shouting, our thrill reached a crescendo. It was time to find that hotel! And find it, we did 🙂
Everything finally felt right. We were one, and all was as it should be.